That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
