I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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