I wannas sexs uuuuu
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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