Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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