I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
