where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
