Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
