i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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