There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
