im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm passing your future prison.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
