If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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