Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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