Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
