Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think I died a long time ago.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
