OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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