You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
