I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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