see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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