nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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