take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
