Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is Oprah even human
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
