He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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