I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Your cock deserves a montage
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
