im six kinds of drunk right now
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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