The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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