Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
