check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
