just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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