I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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