Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
