Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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