white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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