Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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