After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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