she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
