how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
40s are totally the cure
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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