I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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