He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
