everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
