I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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