oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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