i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize