my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
send nudes
from the living room?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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