$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
