Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
