i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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