Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
