Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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