drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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