Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
