Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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