yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
