I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
