Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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