god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize