Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Found your dick twin last night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
