I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
