I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
