Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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