i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
