All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
