Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
