LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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