was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
