why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize