everyone is single if you try hard enough
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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