Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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